i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
