i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Randomize
