is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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