1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
