you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
