There is no way he is gay with that hair.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
