I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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