Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
You smell like stripper and shame
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
