Christians are straight up FREAKS
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
