You can't special order awesome
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
