Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
