as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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