Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
