There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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