He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
