if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
