"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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