How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
