Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
