Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
