i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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