I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
