She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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