So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
