maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
