Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
