I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
