I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Everyone says I win the strip club
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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