Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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