I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
