Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Randomize
