first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
