Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
