trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Randomize
