She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
