She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize