Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
