his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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