fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
