Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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