was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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