so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
