she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
