Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Randomize
