Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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