but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
a search helicopter?!
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
