I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
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