Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
