I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Randomize
