She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize