You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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