I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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