i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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