I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
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