He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
