i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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