You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
