I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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