counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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