sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
