HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Randomize
