Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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