Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize
