after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
