2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I've blown a few things in my day
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
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