tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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