I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
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