Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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