The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
im about as happy as oj after his trial
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
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