Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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