Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
